Any relationship you have been in whether that be romantic or platonic - have you ever wondered how you both came to meet? I’m not talking about how you physically met, but more so how you energetically called in and aligned with each other.
Many of us may think we are in control of our lives, but the truth is – there is always a higher power at play. It isn't a coincidence that you have been in the right place at the right time when meeting your significant other, or when meeting a friend for the first time. Every event in your life is a fated event, one that has been carefully orchestrated for you to assist you in your life's growth and evolution.
So why do we attract certain people in our relationships? Why do we tend to drift towards the same type of people? The answer - is energy.
Energetically each person has their own frequency. This frequency is made up from our beliefs, perceptions, emotions, and behaviours (essentially everything we hold within). Our energetic frequency also holds all of our trauma's, pain from the past (past life, generational trauma), inner child wounds as well as our shadow selves (hidden and suppressed emotions/desires). Our frequency isn't something people can see, but it is something people can feel.
Like magnets we have an energy around us that will either call people in or repel them, and depending on our inner wounds - we will call in the exact person to help us heal from them to set us free.
My partner and I have been together almost 7 years now, and the relationship has definitely had many highs and lows – however through all of those times I have come to learn how healing our relationship has been for one another.
When we first met through mutual friends, we both instantly felt a connection (energetically). We have spoken about this many years later - and the only way to describe it, was that when we first started getting to know each other - there was so much comfort, love, familiarity and inner knowing that we were meant to be together. What was happening at the time, was that we energetically called each other in, and that feeling like we have known each other forever was a special bond that was happening within our energies (and maybe we have been with each other many lifetimes).
Little did I know, when first meeting my partner, the many layers we would both uncover within to assist us in our journey of life – and it’s only having hindsight now that we have uncovered the patterns within.
A few months ago, my partner and I were driving in the car talking about how I wanted to spend more quality time with him, and he was insisting that we did spend enough time together. He went on to say that the way I was reacting was reminding him of the way his dad reacted to him, and it was bringing up old feelings from the past. I then went on to say to him, that the way he was reacting to me was reminding me of the way my mum reacted to me, and it was bringing up those old feelings. Just in that short moment, we both realised that our inner child's had both been reacting to our old wounds, which had been mirroring through each other. Both of us laughed and could almost feel relieved after gaining awareness on a pressing issue that had been coming up in our relationship for years. What was happening was a fated moment that was meant to happen – to assist helping us to letting go of the past, to heal our inner child's and be free. We had both energetically attracted each other into our lives, to help heal wounds from the past.
Over the next few months, with this breakthrough in our awareness’s and energy, things had shifted. It isn’t to say we never get on each other’s nerves, but there was more freedom within our relationship now.
Your relationships—both romantic and platonic—are powerful mirrors. The things that trigger you most in another person are often the exact wounds that are asking to be healed within you. The people in your life are not just companions; they are here to serve your growth, just as you are here to serve theirs.
A beautiful example of this happened recently when my partner and I were sitting on the couch one night, I opened up the conversation to share the thing we love the most about of each other. He shared that he loved my attitude (mainly!) and my motivation to taking action on tasks. He loved my motivation to getting shit done. I then shared the thing I loved most about him – how calm, grounded and surrendered he was. That he always took time for himself to relax, pour energy back into himself, have strong boundaries and only do things if he wanted to do them. The funny thing is – this is also the thing that annoys us the most about each other! My ‘get shit done’ attitude annoys his ‘relax and it will be ok’ attitude.
When I saw this pattern, I said to him, the reason why we love it the most about each other is because these are the qualities that we want within ourselves. The reason they also annoy us the most, is because they trigger a part within us that doesn’t feel like it’s safe or possible. He’s teaching me how to slow down and surrender. I’m teaching him how to take action and move forward. We are each other’s mirrors in the most profound way.
We are always calling in the people, circumstances, and experiences that will help us grow. There is a divine intelligence at work in our relationships, guiding us toward greater awareness and healing. Even our biggest triggers hold the key to our freedom—if we’re willing to see them that way.
Ways to start bringing more awareness into how your relationships are serving you is through:
Self-awareness practices: Journaling, meditation, or simply pausing when triggered to ask, "What is this revealing about me?"
Inner child healing: Self soothing, becoming aware of attachment type, and recognising what you longed for as a child—then consciously providing yourself with that same nurturing energy.
Shadow work: Exploring your deepest triggers with curiosity, asking "Why does this affect me so deeply?" and uncovering the hidden wounds seeking healing.
Journaling Prompts to assist in creating awareness:
What qualities in my relationships do I admire the most? How might they be qualities I wish to embody?
What triggers me the most in my relationships, and what past experience could be causing this reaction?
What patterns have I repeated in relationships, and what might they be teaching me?
Every person who walks into your life is part of your soul’s journey. Some will challenge you; some will support you, and some will trigger the deepest parts of you. But each one is here for a reason. When you shift from seeing relationships as something happening to you to something happening for you, you reclaim your power.
Life is always guiding you toward your highest healing. Trust it.
If this perspective on relationships resonates with you, and you're ready to explore your own patterns, I’d love to support you on your journey. My work is all about helping people understand their energy, their subconscious beliefs, and their soul’s deeper calling to embody their true self. If you feel drawn to working together, you can explore my offerings.
Karli
Disclaimer: While our relationships can be powerful mirrors for healing and growth, it’s important to recognise that not all relationships are meant to be healed or endured. If you are experiencing domestic violence, abuse, or any form of harm, please know that you do not have to stay in that situation to learn or grow. Your safety and well-being come first. Support is available—please reach out to a trusted friend, professional, or a domestic violence support service.
If you need immediate support in Australia, you can contact:
1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) – 24/7 national domestic, family, and sexual violence support
Lifeline (13 11 14) – 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention
Men’s Referral Service (1300 766 491) – Support for men using or experiencing family violence
In an emergency, always call 000
Comments